TO PETER PAN...

...WITH LOVE FROM WENDY.

I can still vividly remember that line from our fourth-grade play.
I was the girl in blue and you were my cute elf... my Peter Pan,

... my childhood enemy (and crush),

... my burger buddy,

... my kakulitan,

... my adventure-seeking partner,

... my twin,

... my happy pill,

... my better half,

... my confidant,

... my protector,

... my best friend,

... my number one fan,

... my inspiration,

... my prince,

... my love.

You were my everything.

We were so happy... so in-love. But while we were growing together, we (or maybe I) didn't realize that we were already growing apart. I still have no idea why this enchanted story must come to an end. All I know for sure is that I'm finally ready to let you go. Loving you must mean I really have to set you free. I'm giving you the freedom you desperately asked for. It hurts more than you can imagine. The pain in my heart is like a wound that will eventually heal but will leave a scar. Things will never be the same again because everywhere I go and everything I see holds a special memory of us two. But there's nothing else I could do. I can't breathe without you but I have to. I want you to be happy with your new life (and love). I may be facing this new year without you, but do know that I have my family and friends by my side. It's been nice meeting you, and even more wonderful to have been a part of your life. All those years we spent together will forever be treasured. Rest assured that everything we have shared— the experiences, laughter, tears, and great moments will always have a special place in my heart. They were all beautiful, by the way. This may be the end of our journey as a couple, but definitely not as friends. Keep in mind that I will always be here for you. If God permits that we meet again someday when we are both ready, then I will welcome you with forgiveness and open arms. But if it's really not meant to be, then I will just look forward to that day when we can finally face each other with smile on our lips and happiness in our hearts.

So I guess this is it. We have reached the last page of our fairy tale. I will really miss you, prince charming. And I think I'll have to endure missing you everyday until I don't feel anything anymore. Have a good life.

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PS: By the way, this is our last photo together. Our last good memory. I don't want to let go of you too soon, but I don't want to hang on too long either.

CASE STUDY: RIZA DELOS SANTOS

For our Marriage and Family course, we were asked by our professor to conduct a case study about any individual who is currently facing difficult problems rooted in the family. I have decided to focus on children not only because of their vulnerability but also because I believe that they are the ones who greatly need our help. The narrative below is a short part taken from the whole case study and I hope that this becomes an eye-opener to all the readers.

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It’s half past two and as dozens of people came rushing in the Marikina City Social Welfare Development Office, I caught a glimpse of this skinny and innocent-looking girl. As I was intently observing her, a social worker approached me and told me that the child that I was looking at was the one assigned to me for the interview that I will be conducting. They led us inside a small but conducive library. As she propped herself against a plastic chair, I handed her a chicken fillet sandwich and she gave me a warm smile that really touched my heart. Riza Delos Santos, this fourteen-year-old girl that I am talking about, is the second among the four children of a forty-year-old barker and a garbage collector of the same age. Her brother is just a year older than her and her two other siblings are 8 and 11 respectively. They used to live in a shanty in Sta. Elena, Marikina but when her parents got separated, Riza and her siblings made the streets of Calumpang, Marcos Highway, and Katipunan their home. They roamed the aforementioned places in search of money to feed themselves and because of that, none of them ever had the privilege to go to school even just for basic education.

I felt really sad upon hearing that. When I asked her if she wanted to study, she nodded shyly. But she immediately responded “Pero mas gusto ko pong makapag-aral yung mga kapatid ko.” I asked her why she never thought of getting a scholarship from the mayor. She replied, “Hindi ko po kilala si Mayor e. Tsaka dati sabi ni Mama pwede na ko mag-aral.” She drew a square on thin air. “Kaso nawala niya yung papel.” “Papel?”, I inquired. I was wondering what paper she was referring to. When she said she didn’t know, I just asked her if she knew how to read and write. She told me that she only knows the alphabet. She gets confused when they are already used to form complex words and sentences. She knows how to count though. Riza told me that her parents imparted a tad bit of knowledge to her when it comes to numbers.

While munching on the sandwich, I pushed myself to ask her what happened. “Bakit ka napunta dito?”, I uttered. Without hesitation, she informed me that this was already her eighth time to be detained. When I asked her why, she simply responded, “Nahuli pong namamalimos e. Pati po yung tatlong kapatid ko kasama ko dito kasi nahuli rin.” I convinced her to explain the situation further. She told me that they use two methods when begging: the “kalabit” and the “bigay-sobre”. I got curious so I also asked her if she is one of the kids that syndicates use to get money. She shook her head firmly, but whispered “Pero totoo po yung mga yun kasi may mga kaibigan na kong bigla na lang nawala.” I was surprised to hear that. “Bakit ka ba namamalimos?”, I inquired. She told me that she wanted to help her parents. But apart from that, she also told me that she had no other choice since it was her who decided to leave home because of her parents’ separation due to financial problems. Riza explained that her mom uses their money to buy methamphetamine or shabu from “Bitoy”, the supplier. I got the surprise of my life when she told me that on the third time she got detained, she was already using “pencil” or more commonly known as rugby. However, she immediately added “Pero tumigil na po ako.” I was relieved then. Since we were already talking about her parents’ separation, I asked her how she felt. She told me that it really broke her heart and that is the reason why she decided to abscond. She said that she had no one to go back to since both her parents already have their own families. Her dad will even soon have another baby. When I asked her to choose between her mom and her dad, she told me that she will always choose her mom because she never had the urge to hurt them. Her dad, on the other hand, had an iron fist. He would hit them whenever they did something wrong or whenever they had adversities to overcome.

That’s when the issue of blame came in the picture. I asked, “Sino sinisisi mo sa mga nangyari?” “Yung mga kaibigan ko po siguro. Sila naman po nag-impluwensiya sa’kin magbisyo at mamalimos e.”, Riza answered. She told me that her parents, although poor as rats, never wanted them to beg for money. “Sana nga lang hindi sila naghiwalay”, she added.

I looked around the library and asked how Riza was. She told me that she was doing just fine. According to her, there are times when she would feel happy because of her siblings and friends inside the CSWDO. They would either watch the television or play inside their cells. Every Tuesday, Friday and Sunday, they would all gather in a room and have a Bible study and sharing with volunteers from the local church. She even told me that one of the most memorable things that she has acquired from the sessions was to learn how to forgive and free our hearts from anger and resentment because only then can we let God in our lives. Unfortunately, her happiness is just temporary. Most of the time, she would just feel sad and helpless; hopeless, even. She said that she really misses staying at home with her mom and dad because they only get to visit her and her siblings every Tuesday and Friday. I then catechized her about her real situation in the detainment cell. She retorted that the social workers watch over them but do not really interact with them that much. She added that they get fed three times a day with soup, noodles, or rice meals. In total, there are fifteen of them inside a cell and they sleep on native mats with only blankets to shield them from cold nights. What adds to her disappointment is the fact that some of the rugby boys inside the CSWDO would catcall and invite Riza and her friends to have sex with them. She has already been traumatized because rugby boys would beat them from time to time just to extort their earnings from begging. “Gusto ko na talagang umalis dito”, she whispered.

I asked her what other wishes she had in mind. “Syempre mabuo po yung pamilya ko, mailayo yung pamilya ko sa hirap, maisama yung mga kaibigan ko sa paglabas, at magkaroon ng maayos na bahay.”, she enumerated. I then had a follow-up question: “Anong gusto mong maging paglaki mo?” She answered that she wants to be a doctor— a pediatrician to be exact. And when I told her to give a message for kids who are facing the same situation, she gave me an answer I will never forget: “Wag mawalan ng pag-asa. Ako paglabas ko dito magbabagong-buhay na ko. Sana kayo rin.”