TO PETER PAN...

...WITH LOVE FROM WENDY.

I can still vividly remember that line from our fourth-grade play.
I was the girl in blue and you were my cute elf... my Peter Pan,

... my childhood enemy (and crush),

... my burger buddy,

... my kakulitan,

... my adventure-seeking partner,

... my twin,

... my happy pill,

... my better half,

... my confidant,

... my protector,

... my best friend,

... my number one fan,

... my inspiration,

... my prince,

... my love.

You were my everything.

We were so happy... so in-love. But while we were growing together, we (or maybe I) didn't realize that we were already growing apart. I still have no idea why this enchanted story must come to an end. All I know for sure is that I'm finally ready to let you go. Loving you must mean I really have to set you free. I'm giving you the freedom you desperately asked for. It hurts more than you can imagine. The pain in my heart is like a wound that will eventually heal but will leave a scar. Things will never be the same again because everywhere I go and everything I see holds a special memory of us two. But there's nothing else I could do. I can't breathe without you but I have to. I want you to be happy with your new life (and love). I may be facing this new year without you, but do know that I have my family and friends by my side. It's been nice meeting you, and even more wonderful to have been a part of your life. All those years we spent together will forever be treasured. Rest assured that everything we have shared— the experiences, laughter, tears, and great moments will always have a special place in my heart. They were all beautiful, by the way. This may be the end of our journey as a couple, but definitely not as friends. Keep in mind that I will always be here for you. If God permits that we meet again someday when we are both ready, then I will welcome you with forgiveness and open arms. But if it's really not meant to be, then I will just look forward to that day when we can finally face each other with smile on our lips and happiness in our hearts.

So I guess this is it. We have reached the last page of our fairy tale. I will really miss you, prince charming. And I think I'll have to endure missing you everyday until I don't feel anything anymore. Have a good life.

---------

PS: By the way, this is our last photo together. Our last good memory. I don't want to let go of you too soon, but I don't want to hang on too long either.

CASE STUDY: RIZA DELOS SANTOS

For our Marriage and Family course, we were asked by our professor to conduct a case study about any individual who is currently facing difficult problems rooted in the family. I have decided to focus on children not only because of their vulnerability but also because I believe that they are the ones who greatly need our help. The narrative below is a short part taken from the whole case study and I hope that this becomes an eye-opener to all the readers.

---------

It’s half past two and as dozens of people came rushing in the Marikina City Social Welfare Development Office, I caught a glimpse of this skinny and innocent-looking girl. As I was intently observing her, a social worker approached me and told me that the child that I was looking at was the one assigned to me for the interview that I will be conducting. They led us inside a small but conducive library. As she propped herself against a plastic chair, I handed her a chicken fillet sandwich and she gave me a warm smile that really touched my heart. Riza Delos Santos, this fourteen-year-old girl that I am talking about, is the second among the four children of a forty-year-old barker and a garbage collector of the same age. Her brother is just a year older than her and her two other siblings are 8 and 11 respectively. They used to live in a shanty in Sta. Elena, Marikina but when her parents got separated, Riza and her siblings made the streets of Calumpang, Marcos Highway, and Katipunan their home. They roamed the aforementioned places in search of money to feed themselves and because of that, none of them ever had the privilege to go to school even just for basic education.

I felt really sad upon hearing that. When I asked her if she wanted to study, she nodded shyly. But she immediately responded “Pero mas gusto ko pong makapag-aral yung mga kapatid ko.” I asked her why she never thought of getting a scholarship from the mayor. She replied, “Hindi ko po kilala si Mayor e. Tsaka dati sabi ni Mama pwede na ko mag-aral.” She drew a square on thin air. “Kaso nawala niya yung papel.” “Papel?”, I inquired. I was wondering what paper she was referring to. When she said she didn’t know, I just asked her if she knew how to read and write. She told me that she only knows the alphabet. She gets confused when they are already used to form complex words and sentences. She knows how to count though. Riza told me that her parents imparted a tad bit of knowledge to her when it comes to numbers.

While munching on the sandwich, I pushed myself to ask her what happened. “Bakit ka napunta dito?”, I uttered. Without hesitation, she informed me that this was already her eighth time to be detained. When I asked her why, she simply responded, “Nahuli pong namamalimos e. Pati po yung tatlong kapatid ko kasama ko dito kasi nahuli rin.” I convinced her to explain the situation further. She told me that they use two methods when begging: the “kalabit” and the “bigay-sobre”. I got curious so I also asked her if she is one of the kids that syndicates use to get money. She shook her head firmly, but whispered “Pero totoo po yung mga yun kasi may mga kaibigan na kong bigla na lang nawala.” I was surprised to hear that. “Bakit ka ba namamalimos?”, I inquired. She told me that she wanted to help her parents. But apart from that, she also told me that she had no other choice since it was her who decided to leave home because of her parents’ separation due to financial problems. Riza explained that her mom uses their money to buy methamphetamine or shabu from “Bitoy”, the supplier. I got the surprise of my life when she told me that on the third time she got detained, she was already using “pencil” or more commonly known as rugby. However, she immediately added “Pero tumigil na po ako.” I was relieved then. Since we were already talking about her parents’ separation, I asked her how she felt. She told me that it really broke her heart and that is the reason why she decided to abscond. She said that she had no one to go back to since both her parents already have their own families. Her dad will even soon have another baby. When I asked her to choose between her mom and her dad, she told me that she will always choose her mom because she never had the urge to hurt them. Her dad, on the other hand, had an iron fist. He would hit them whenever they did something wrong or whenever they had adversities to overcome.

That’s when the issue of blame came in the picture. I asked, “Sino sinisisi mo sa mga nangyari?” “Yung mga kaibigan ko po siguro. Sila naman po nag-impluwensiya sa’kin magbisyo at mamalimos e.”, Riza answered. She told me that her parents, although poor as rats, never wanted them to beg for money. “Sana nga lang hindi sila naghiwalay”, she added.

I looked around the library and asked how Riza was. She told me that she was doing just fine. According to her, there are times when she would feel happy because of her siblings and friends inside the CSWDO. They would either watch the television or play inside their cells. Every Tuesday, Friday and Sunday, they would all gather in a room and have a Bible study and sharing with volunteers from the local church. She even told me that one of the most memorable things that she has acquired from the sessions was to learn how to forgive and free our hearts from anger and resentment because only then can we let God in our lives. Unfortunately, her happiness is just temporary. Most of the time, she would just feel sad and helpless; hopeless, even. She said that she really misses staying at home with her mom and dad because they only get to visit her and her siblings every Tuesday and Friday. I then catechized her about her real situation in the detainment cell. She retorted that the social workers watch over them but do not really interact with them that much. She added that they get fed three times a day with soup, noodles, or rice meals. In total, there are fifteen of them inside a cell and they sleep on native mats with only blankets to shield them from cold nights. What adds to her disappointment is the fact that some of the rugby boys inside the CSWDO would catcall and invite Riza and her friends to have sex with them. She has already been traumatized because rugby boys would beat them from time to time just to extort their earnings from begging. “Gusto ko na talagang umalis dito”, she whispered.

I asked her what other wishes she had in mind. “Syempre mabuo po yung pamilya ko, mailayo yung pamilya ko sa hirap, maisama yung mga kaibigan ko sa paglabas, at magkaroon ng maayos na bahay.”, she enumerated. I then had a follow-up question: “Anong gusto mong maging paglaki mo?” She answered that she wants to be a doctor— a pediatrician to be exact. And when I told her to give a message for kids who are facing the same situation, she gave me an answer I will never forget: “Wag mawalan ng pag-asa. Ako paglabas ko dito magbabagong-buhay na ko. Sana kayo rin.”

BRINGING BACK THE CHILDHOOD THAT FADED AWAY

I used to be a part of this story

Where I resided in a wondrous place

Wee but glistening things made me happy

They never failed to put a smile on my face

I remember the days when I moved freely

I explored the world and inquired around

Hatred was unknown and my heart loved purely

Like a lifeless doll, I slumbered safe and sound

I long for the times I subsisted in dreams

When everything was occult and enchanting

Though I know it is as strange as it seems

In reverie, I find myself wanting

To go back, cease the time that passes swiftly

Reliving the young that laughs innocently

MY FIRST LOVE

"You see," she said, "your first love isn't the first person 

you give your heart to— it's the first one who breaks it."

 Lang Leav

THE ART OF GETTING BY

Get by  -  phrasal verb (/ɡet/ verb (present participle getting, past participle gotten/ˈɡɑt·ən/ or got/ɡɑt/ )
                      - to manage or continue to exist in a state or situation where something is lacking


In this case... YOU.

It's been a month since you left and I still can't find the perfect words to weave together to express how I really feel (or felt that night you bid goodbye). You left my heart shattered and I don't think it will ever return to the way it was before. Everytime I think of you, the pang of regret and yearning engulfs me. And it sucks. It sucks because I can't do anything about it. I feel so helpless. Hopeless, even. How will I start fixing myself when I know for a fact that a huge part of me is missing because when we parted ways, you took that piece away with you? I still can't believe that all those years filled with pure bliss, sadness, unexpected moments, and unforgettable experiences are now nothing but mere memories of a great love I once knew... memories that I know I should be burying because they all still remind me of you. It hurts, yes. And I don't think the pain will ever be gone. But right now, the only thing that I should be doing is trying to learn how to live without you. No, this is not me moving on. Not yet. This is just me trying to accept the fact that you are already gone. This is just me trying to face the reality that this "letting go and moving on" phase will be sad and long. And finally, this is just me trying to get by... trying to continue existing like nothing ever went wrong.

(Definition of get by from the Cambridge Academic Content Dictionary © Cambridge University Press)

ON LETTING GO AND MOVING ON

"In the end, only three things matter: how fully you lived, how deeply you loved, and how well you learned to let go of things not meant for you."

This quote, lifted from one of the pages of Fr. Jerry M. Orbos' book entitled Just A Moment, has been one of my favorites ever since. The last line is what actually  struck me the most. Let me share with you snippets of my life. Let's go back to the time where it all began. 

As a child, I have always loved writing stories and poems. So when I entered fourth grade, I decided to enrich my craft by joining writing competitions where I have fortuitously won most of the time. Moreover, I have been a part of our school paper where I became the Editor-in-Chief. When I entered high school, I still continued pursuing my passion so I was fortunate enough to be given the position of Columnist in our official newsletter. But by the time I was about to take various college entrance examinations, my hopes of becoming “successful” got in the way. I thought that by becoming an accountant, I will be guaranteed with a high-paying salary and a bright future ahead of me. But I was wrong. I decided to let go of my dream of becoming a writer and pushed myself to turn my back from my world of words to face a future filled with numbers. It was a difficult decision but I really wanted to give my family a better life so I pursued a program far different from the career I have always dreamed of having. 

But perhaps it is true that when you are meant to do something, the universe conspires to help you accomplish it. During the summer of 2013, I was invited by my sister who is currently taking up AB in Communication Arts to audition as a radio jock for UST Tiger Radio. Since I am an exuberant teen, I decided to give it a shot. After that, we also tried out for Magic 89.9, Monster Radio RX 93.1, 99.5 Play FM and Mossimo Radio. Fortunately, we were both chosen to become a part of Magic 89.9’s Street Team and I was blessed to be one of UST Tiger Radio’s newest jocks. During the training, workshops and shows, I have come to realize that I am back on track. I have been given the opportunity to be involved in the field of communication once more. Apart from the aforementioned activities, I have also been given a chance to host an event for the very first time. I was invited by the Isetann Mall to host U-Belt Dance Duo. Add to that the fact that I have been receiving great feedbacks from the people around me with regards to my communication skills. One good example would be my Oral Communication professor who inspired me to become better in this field. Thank you, Ma'am Pia! 

I must say that I found true happiness not in crunching numbers but in weaving words together and in speaking either through the radio or in front of a large crowd. And all of these things pushed me to follow my heart's desire. I decided to shift to the AB in Communication Arts program. As luck would have it, I passed the shifter's exam and am now a step closer to fulfilling my dreams. This academic year, I can already proudly call myself an Artlet and believe me, it still gives me goosebumps everytime. 

I am still not certain of the future that's waiting for me. Yes, it's not easy to start anew especially when you're already halfway through. But one thing's for sure: I am beyond happy because I can finally take the path truly intended for me.

So if you are having doubts right now about anything, always remember the three simple rules in life (anonymous author):

1. If you do not go after what you want, you'll never have it.

2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be 'no'.

3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR

Their lives are risked for justice

They fight for what is right

They bolster the spirits of the innocent

And go against the oppressors with all their might

These people are called lawyers

They are our modern-day heroes

Polished by years of study

Reliable defenders against our foes

But their job is not that easy

They also have to take the side of the wrong

Only coffee can keep them awake

When they have to read thick books and stay up too long

They have to be clever

They need to be witty

They are required to be emotionally strong too

So as to outsmart the other party

I dream of becoming one someday

A righteous person with integrity

Who will, if given the chance, defend

And put all the oppressed out of their misery

------

It was three years ago when I wrote this poem. Looking back, I think this was one of the reasons why I decided to take up Accountancy. A lot of people told me that it would be a good pre-law program so I took heed. But I think the wind of fate blew me to a different path. But nevertheless, I am still happy that this became one of my dreams because it really pushed me to to focus on my studies and even encouraged me to excel academically. So here's the aspiring CPA-Lawyer three years ago. (Don't mind the background hihi).

THE POWER OF HASHTAGS

How powerful can a symbol be? How helpful? How useful? Well, this article answers all our questions about one of the most abused utilized symbols today.

READ IT HERE: http://www.kittenshq.org/features-/2015/7/9/tigeradioust-hashtag-a-millennial-tool

I am happy and honored to be featured in this write-up along with my co-jocks Macy and Chase. Thank you so much, Tomasian Cable Television and Neem Cahoy for this beautiful article. More power to the official broadcasting arm of the University of Santo Tomas!

Join in on the fun by tuning in to UST Tiger Radio via mixlr.com/ustigeradio.

#MoveOnKaNa

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to board for Tiger Radio Chill Pill. I'm DJ Avery, by the way. Hihi. Okay, moving on. I had about a week of preparation for the topic, the spiel and the playlist. It was difficult but it was really fun. A few minutes before I went on-air, I was really praying for the show to be a success. And as Jesse Mccartney's "Just So You Know" was playing, I was really surprised to see the number of listeners gradually increasing. You see, when I auditioned for Tiger Radio and became a trainee, I was already happy with a handful of listeners. But yesterday evening, I got overwhelmed to see more than 200 people tuned in. And would you believe it? Our topic #MoveOnKaNa landed on the second spot for Philippine Trends! Take a look:

Wow. It just felt surreal to have a lot of people support you and your work, knowing that you have given your hundred and one percent. I'm not sure if anyone will be able to read this but I would like to take this chance to thank everyone who tuned in last night. You all don't know how happy you made me feel. Thank you for the appreciation and kind words although I had a few mistakes while boarding. I hope this success continues for the whole Tiger Radio Team.

If, by any chance, someone gets to read this and is clueless about what I'm talking about, try tuning in to Tiger Radio via mixlr.com/ustigeradio every Wednesday at 8 to 10 in the evening for your dose of #TRChillPill. Bye!

TO MY ONE AND ONLY

My Unmasked Superhero

One brave soul took a courageous journey,

not fearing solitude when he went to another country.

Tears from his loved ones were shed,

even from friends who were with him when he was hanging by a thread.

People know him as a wonderful father,

a responsible husband and a loving brother.

He works hard and gives his all for his family's sake—

a sacrifice not everyone is willing to make.

This, for me, is true bravery.

For the latter is not just about going to war and taking a bullet for somebody.

It's actually about being selfless and true.

So to my unmasked superhero, I want to say "Thank you".

You are that one brave soul who took a courageous journey.

You are the man I proudly call "Daddy".

And the reason why I look up to people who go overseas for their family

is because of your one-of-a-kind bravery.

------

Happy father's day, daddy! I love you!

*photo taken about five years ago hihi